Sad chords

[C] [F] [C/G] [Em]
It's abou[C]t all th[F]e sad stuff[C/G] . Just pictu[Em]re a depressed onion cutting itself.
[C] [F] [C/G] [Em]
[C] [F] [C/G] [Em]

I met a [C]homeless man named [F]Rich
[C]Isn't that [G]terrible'
I saw a f[C]lyer for a lost [F]dog
And the [Am]dog didn't have any le[Em]gs
I saw a d[C]iabetic k[F]id tr[Am]ick-or-[G]treating
I sa[C]w a giraffe who[F] had a short neck
[Am]That was sad,[G] or a deer

[E]I saw an [F]old man get [C]hit by a [G]train
He didn't [E]see it in the pouring r[F]ain
He didn't h[C]ear me shout, "Look out for [G]the train![E]"

Because I didn't say anything.

[C] [F] [C/G] [Em]
[C]I just[F] thought [C/G]to myself, &[Em]quot;Ooh, this is gonna be sad."
[C] [F] [C/G]And it [Em]was.
[C] [F]I'm a[C/G] genius[Em] .

I saw a [C]man with only one eye [F]
[C]In a 3D [G]movie
I saw a [C]little boy drop his ice cr[F]eam cone
[Am]Directly on his mother's corp[Em]se
I saw a [C]kitten stuck in a t[F]ree
Then the [Am]kitten jumped off and he [G]hung himself
I saw a bo[C]y who had red[F] hair. [Am] [G]

[E]I went to a [F]store looking for [C]something to [G]buy
But they only sold pa[E]intings of the same sad g[F]uy
No, [C]wait--this store sells [G]mirrors!
See what I [E]did there'
Let's rock! No.[C] [Em] [F] [Fm]

[C] [Em] [F] [Fm]
[C] [Em] [F] [Fm] (repeat through spoken section until...

[C] [Em] [F] [G] the last chord progression of spoken
section, ending with the G on "I'm a
sociopath!".)

SPOKEN:
The world's so sad, bros. Pain, genocide, war, sexism, racism.
But I've gotta remember there's good things about it too.
Like the fact that none of that's happening to me! Score! Still,
though, it's hard not to be sad about it. How do y'all do it' I've
been telling you guys terribly sad things this whole song; you
haven't been sad at all. You've been--you've been happy--no,
you've been laughing. That's it, laughter, it's the key to everything.
It's the way to solve all the sadness in the world! I mean not for the
people that are actually sad, but the people like us that've gotta
fucking deal with them all the time. Being a comedian isn't being
an insensitive prick capitalizing on the most animalistic impulses
of the public; it's being a hero. The world isn't sad. The world's
funny! I'm a sociopath!

I saw an [C]old man slip and f[F]all
[Am]Hey, what a fucking [G]idiot
I saw a [C]woman at her daughter's [F]funeral
[Am]Ha ha ha. [G]Classic comedy.
[C]Everything that once was [F]sad
[Am]Is somehow [G]funny now
The H[C]olocaust and [F]9/11
[Am]That shit's funny [G]24/7, cuz
[E]Tragedy will be exc[F]lusively j[C]oked ab[G]out
Because my e[E]mpathy is bumming me [F]out [C]
Goodbye, s[G]adness [E]
Hello joke[C]s. [F] [C/G] [Em] [C]