Hello [E]
Welcome to my show [B/D#]
I'm glad that you could [D]come [Dsus2]
We're [A]gonna have a hoot
We're [D]gonna have [B/D#]some [E]fun
(notes – [A3] [B3] [D3] [G3] [B3] [D3])
Sit back [E]
Put your feet up and relax [E/D#]
I hope you've had a drink or [D]three[Dsus2]
The [A]more you've drunk
The [D]better I’l[B/D#]l eve[E]r be
And [A]if you have a mobile phone
Plea[Am]se turn it off
Than[E]k you
And [A]if you have Tourette's syndrome
Just[Am] do whatever it is you people [E]do
And [F#]if you are offended by stron[A]g language or blasphemy
[E]Maybe you should [A]chuff [B]off [E]home
Cos it's [A]only gonna get worse [E]
[A]Only gonna get worse [E]
[A]Only gonna get worse
From now [E]on……………c**t
(notes – [E2] [F#2] [G#2])
[A]My name is Tim
[D]I write funny [A]songs and sing
[A]And if you don't think [B]funny songs are [E7]funny
Well [A]I respect your right
To [D]think exactly [A]what you like
But you're [A]sure as shit not [E7]getting back your [A]money
[Dmaj7] [A] [E/G#] [F#m] [F#m]/[E]
And if you write for a newspaper I'd just like to say
[D] [Dmaj7] [A] [E/G#] [F#m] [F#m]/[E]
That I read your publication every single day
[Dmaj7] [B]ø [C#7] [F#m]
And I agree with absolutely everything you say
[Dmaj9] [B]ø/[D]
I think you're the most perspicacious and delightful, eloquent, insightful writer
[A] [G/A] [D/A] [Dm]/[A]
Writing on the subject of the arts
[Dmaj9]But if you write a bad review
[B]ø/[D]
I promise you I'll come round to your house
[A] [G/A] [D/A] Bmb5/[A]
And lay turds in all your potted indoor plants
I'll lay [B11]turds!
In all your [C11]plants!
Your indoor [C#11]plants!
Your potted indoor plants!
Hello [F#]
[C#]/E#
Welcome to my show
I'm glad you all could [Esus2]come
[B] [E] [C#]/E# [F#]
It's time for a little audience participation
Sing, [F#]"Yeah!" (Yeah!)
Sing, [E]"Yeah!" (Yeah!)
Sing, [B]"Yeah yeah yeah!" (Yeah yeah yeah!)
Sing, [F#]"Ooo yeah!" (Ooo yeah!)
Sing, [F#]"I am an audience member!" (I am an audience member!)
[E]"Why are you making me sing?" (Why are you making me sing?)
[B]"You self indulgent wanker!" (You self indulgent wanker!)
"[F#]Just get on with the fucking show!" (Just get on with the fucking show!)
......
Welcome to my show [B/D#]
I'm glad that you could [D]come [Dsus2]
We're [A]gonna have a hoot
We're [D]gonna have [B/D#]some [E]fun
(notes – [A3] [B3] [D3] [G3] [B3] [D3])
Sit back [E]
Put your feet up and relax [E/D#]
I hope you've had a drink or [D]three[Dsus2]
The [A]more you've drunk
The [D]better I’l[B/D#]l eve[E]r be
And [A]if you have a mobile phone
Plea[Am]se turn it off
Than[E]k you
And [A]if you have Tourette's syndrome
Just[Am] do whatever it is you people [E]do
And [F#]if you are offended by stron[A]g language or blasphemy
[E]Maybe you should [A]chuff [B]off [E]home
Cos it's [A]only gonna get worse [E]
[A]Only gonna get worse [E]
[A]Only gonna get worse
From now [E]on……………c**t
(notes – [E2] [F#2] [G#2])
[A]My name is Tim
[D]I write funny [A]songs and sing
[A]And if you don't think [B]funny songs are [E7]funny
Well [A]I respect your right
To [D]think exactly [A]what you like
But you're [A]sure as shit not [E7]getting back your [A]money
[Dmaj7] [A] [E/G#] [F#m] [F#m]/[E]
And if you write for a newspaper I'd just like to say
[D] [Dmaj7] [A] [E/G#] [F#m] [F#m]/[E]
That I read your publication every single day
[Dmaj7] [B]ø [C#7] [F#m]
And I agree with absolutely everything you say
[Dmaj9] [B]ø/[D]
I think you're the most perspicacious and delightful, eloquent, insightful writer
[A] [G/A] [D/A] [Dm]/[A]
Writing on the subject of the arts
[Dmaj9]But if you write a bad review
[B]ø/[D]
I promise you I'll come round to your house
[A] [G/A] [D/A] Bmb5/[A]
And lay turds in all your potted indoor plants
I'll lay [B11]turds!
In all your [C11]plants!
Your indoor [C#11]plants!
Your potted indoor plants!
Hello [F#]
[C#]/E#
Welcome to my show
I'm glad you all could [Esus2]come
[B] [E] [C#]/E# [F#]
It's time for a little audience participation
Sing, [F#]"Yeah!" (Yeah!)
Sing, [E]"Yeah!" (Yeah!)
Sing, [B]"Yeah yeah yeah!" (Yeah yeah yeah!)
Sing, [F#]"Ooo yeah!" (Ooo yeah!)
Sing, [F#]"I am an audience member!" (I am an audience member!)
[E]"Why are you making me sing?" (Why are you making me sing?)
[B]"You self indulgent wanker!" (You self indulgent wanker!)
"[F#]Just get on with the fucking show!" (Just get on with the fucking show!)
......
Used chords
More of Tim Minchin