Linda Lovelace chords

Well you can [G]talk about your lovers and your backdoor pimps
You can [C]talk about your Hollywood fags
If [D]you wanna know the baddest m*********ker in the world
Then I?m the greatest lover al[G]ive.

[G]Jackie Onassis was a snuff queen for me
Be[C]fore she ever got rich
And [D]it would take the average man a day and a half
Just to satisfy that [G]b***h.

Why the [G]Queen of England gave me the key
To the [C]whole damn country of France
And [D]it only took me fifteen minutes
To get into her [G]pants.

Well I [G]f**ked ?em all from coast to coast
Cause [C]honey that my bag
In [D]fact I?m the only man in the whole world
That could make Linda Lovelace [G]gag.

Dumm dum dum [G]dum dum dum dum dum dum du[C]m dum dum
Dum [G]dum dum dum dum dum [D]dum
Dum dum dum [G]dum dum dum dum dum dum du[C]m dum dum
Dum [G]dum dum [D]dum dum dum [G]dum.

Now it [G]ain?t that my dick so God damn big
Its [C]just I know how to use it
And [D]I?ll never let some nickel-dime w***e
Ever get the chance to [G]abuse it.

They can [G]suck it for hours and hours on end
But [C]I?ll still be in control
And [D]I won?t cum till I wanna cum
Cause that?s my jelly[G]roll.

Now [G]there ain?t no woman no match for me
I?ve [C]had ?em try to wear me down
I?ve [D]f**ked them barmaids and bank clerks
I even f**ked a circus [G]clown.

[G]Teachers and lawyers, doctors
And Lord them [C]fat women sure are a drag
I [D]tell ya I?m the only m*********ker in the world
That can make Linda Lovelace [G]gag.

[INSTRUMENTAL]
[G] [C] [G] [D] [G] [C] [G] [D] [G]

Why Old [G]Hairy Reams fell apart at the seams
When he [C]saw me f**k that w***e
She [D]sucked my dick swallowed my nuts
And I still hollered for [G]more.

She [G]sucked my a*****e she sucked my toes
She?s the [C]suckinest b***h alive
Well [D]I made her call up two more cunts
And friend that ain?t no ji[G]ve.

[G]She don?t give me know s**t
About [C]bein? some big time lover
Some [D]movie star with a jag
Cause you ain?t s**t if you can?t get Linda Lovelace [G]gag.

[G]I don?t talk about bein? no full time lover
Cause [C]mister that?s my bag
[D]I?m the only m*********ker in the damn world
That can make Linda Lovelace [G]gag.

Dumm dum dum [G]dum dum dum dum dum dum du[C]m dum dum
Dum [G]dum dum dum dum dum [D]dum
Dum dum dum [G]dum dum dum dum dum dum du[C]m dum dum
Dum [G]dum dum [D]dum dum dum [G]dum.
Take it boys.

[OUTRO]
[G] [C] [G] [D] [G] [C] [G] [D] [G]