Channel 5 News Chords & Lyrics - Bo Burnham

[VERSE 1]
[E]Tonight at t[A]en
The world's ending a[C#m]gain
And we know why and w[B]hen
So you better w[E]atch
We got a b[A]it
With some feminist c[C#m]hick
And also a pi[B]cture
Of a Scarlet's cr[E]otch
Two people d[A]ied
A double homi[C#m]cide
Their bodies found ins[B]ide
Of a wishing w[E]ell
And we tackle the fl[A]aws
In these obesity l[C#m]aws
In this segment that's sp[B]onsored
By Taco B[E]ell

[BRIDGE 1]
We've got vi[A]olence,
Danger, s[C#m]ex, and drugs
And it's a[B]wesome
'Cause all of it's r[E]eal
We do the i[A]llusion of news
And while y[C#m]ou think
You're choosing the v[B]iews
(No Chord)
That you feel

[CHORUS]
[A]All of this and more and live, [B]only on the Channel Five
[E]News, [C#m]ews, e[G#m]ws,
[G#m]Only on the Channel Five (Repeat chorus starting from "Only" three more times)

(Spoken: "We've got Chip Walker, live at the scene, with breaking news! Chip, are you there?")

[VERSE 2]
[E]Chip Walker he[A]re
Am I coming in cl[C#m]ear?
I'm standing n[B]ear
To the scene of the cr[E]ime
This Iraqi guy's sh[A]op
Seemed a newsworthy s[C#m]pot
So we've been gathering sh[B]ots here
For quite some t[E]ime
Today real f[A]ast
The owner's daughter p[C#m]assed
We grabbed a shot of her [B]ass
While the owner was n[E]ear
Then he struck my che[A]st
And now he's under ar[C#m]rest
And now you people have [B]one less
Man to f[E]ear

[BRIDGE 2]
This family's a[A]ngry, crying,
[C#m]Sad, and lost
And it's a[B]wesome
'Cause all of it's r[E]eal
We do the i[A]llusion of news
And while y[C#m]ou think
You're choosing the v[B]iews
(No Chord)
That you feel

[CHORUS]
[A]All of this and more and live, [B]only on the Channel Five
[E]News, [C#m]ews, e[G#m]ws,
[G#m]Only on the Channel Five (Repeat chorus starting from "Only" three more times)

(Spoken: "We now go to Max Stevens, with the weather for the weekend. What are we looking at here,
Max: umbrellas or picnic baskets?...Max?...Max!?"

(Continue playing the E, C#m, G#m, G#m while saying:
"We are experiencing technical difficulties, please stand by.")
(Spoken: "Alright, we got a signal. Cut to Max.")

[VERSE 3]
Good evening, h[E]i
It's your weather [C#m]guy
I advise you to [D#]buy
Another lightning r[Gm]od
We didn't c[E]atch
This impending dis[C#m]aster
Maybe it's n[D#]atural
Maybe it's G[Gm]od
The sliding m[E]ud
The incoming fl[C#m]ood
Will never wash the bl[D#]ood
From my greedy old h[Gm]ands!
This job was f[E]un
I had a pretty good r[C#m]un
But I've never been o[D#]ne
To give into dem[Gm]ands

[BRIDGE 3]
People are [E]angry, crying,
[C#m]Sad, and lost
And it's a[D#]wful
'Cause all of it's r[Gm]eal
We do the i[E]llusion of news
And while y[C#m]ou think
You're choosing the v[D#]iews

That you feel
[D#]All of this and more all live
[D#]Only on the Channel Five,
[D#]Only on the Channel Five
[D#]On-on-on-WE'RE BACK!

[Chorus starting at "News"]

(Continue playing the E, C#m, G#m, G#m while saying: "Bla, bla, bla" and begin to fade out.
Or just stop on a E with one last "Only on the Channel Five news", that's what I usually do!)