Russian Chastushki chords

Tuning: Standard (e [B] G D [A] E)

[Dm]Down the river d[Am]rifts an axe
[E]From the town of [Am]Byron
[Dm]Let it float by [Am]itself-
[E]Fucking piece of [Am]iron!!!

[Dm]I was sleeping w[Am]ith my honey
[E]Absоlutely [Am]naked,
[Dm]I have taken [Am]my panties off
[E]Just to make a [Am]statement.

[Dm]Fish in thick t[Am]omato sauce
[E]Swims in happy [Am]comatose
[Dm]Only me, [Am]pathetic wimp
[E]Have no fucking [Am]place to swim.

[Dm]Starlet’s fallen [Am]from the heavens
[E]Right into my [Am]boyfriend's briefs,
[Dm]I don't mind his [Am]roasted penis
[E]If it helps us [Am]live in peace.

[Dm]Girls have called me [Am]to the party
[E]I decided [Am]not to come,
[Dm]It's because my c[Am]lothes are ugly
[E]And my dick [Am]is a tiny one.

[Dm]Time has shifted [Am]for an hour —
[E]What a mess [Am]on globe
[Dm]Dick was hard [Am]before wakeup,
[E]Now it's up [Am]at work.

[Dm]In a tree a[Am] duck got stuck
[E]Noble eagle [Am]fucked that duck
[Dm]You can hear b[Am]ranches crack
[E]Sqeaky-dick [Am]and fucky-quack!

[Dm]Guy Miron s[Am]hows such a trick:
[E]Crow is sitting [Am]on his dick
[Dm]And as soon as[Am] starts to croak -
[E]Has he boner [Am]on his cock

[Dm]Old Ivan I[Am]lyich and I
[E]Used to work [Am]at a CI
[Dm]He’s a fuckhead, [Am]so am I
[E]Someone’s filched [Am]our CI.

[Dm]You are fine [Am]if you are steadfast
[E]In relations [Am]with milkmaid.
[Dm]You get wholesome [Am]milky breakfast
[E]And occasiona[Am]lly laid.

[Dm]Nick is crossing [Am]village slowly —
[E]Outside it[Am] is cold and snowy.
[Dm]But his dick is [Am]up and running
[E]Just in case i[Am]f something’s coming.

[Dm]Girls had a fight[Am] at country hut
[E]Over who g[Am]ot hairiest cunt.
[Dm]Well, more hair [Am]of the most
[E]Had the beaver o[Am]f the host.

[Dm]You were mine [Am]the other day,
[E]Mike is screwing [Am]you today.
[Dm]He’s got cock [Am]as thick as trees
[E]On the Shishkin’s [Am]masterpiece.

[Dm]Have you seen [Am]four dicks together
[E]Dancing on a [Am]mountain peak?
[Dm]And one dick [Am]had fucked another
[E]But with yet [Am]another dick.

[Dm]My advice to [Am]future bride:
[E]Don’t get married,[Am] silly!
[Dm]Morning comes — [Am]your boobs aside,
[E]Snatch is rumpled [Am]illy.

[Dm]Nick is sitting [Am]at the door,
[E]Neither dancing, s[Am]inging nor,
[Dm]He is sitting, d[Am]eaf and dumb,
[E]Thinking only "[Am]Whom to hump?"

[Dm]Coffee pot’s a [Am]bit unstable
[E]Dishes fall a[Am]round
[Dm]Fucking on a [Am]little table
[E]Makes a lot [Am]of sound

[Dm]Two of us — [Am]me and my buddy
[E]Giving gifts [Am]to everybody
[Dm]You get daughter, [Am]you get son
[E]Patriotic d[Am]uty’s done

[Dm]Wife is telling [Am]her old man:
[E]"Book me U.S. [Am]fare!"
[Dm]"Stupid cunt! [Am]Don’t think you can —
[E]Trains aren’t going [Am]there!"

[Dm]I was in a [Am]horny mood
[E]And I blew [Am]Stepan
[Dm]He is smart [Am]and looking good,
[E]Salty on the [Am]tongue

[Dm]Kids are asking [Am]uncle Peck:
[E]Why’s there wire [Am]on your neck?
[Dm]Uncle has no w[Am]ords to spare
[E]Swinging calmly [Am]in the air.