Dishwasher Installation Blues Chords & Lyrics - Misc Your Songs - Chris Minton

[G]I’m not a terribly efficient m[F#]an, especially when it c[Em]omes to washing dishes by h[C]and
[A7]and the house I[D] lived in only had a sin[G]k
[G]I thought what the heck I’ll [F#]even the score, so I wen[Em]t to the local hardware stor[C]e
[A7]and bought a brand new d[D]ishwasher without giving[G] it a second think

[G]Didn’t figure installing it woul[F#]d be that bad, since all[Em] I know about plumbing I learned from my[C] dad
[A7]But then it occurred to [D]me I’d never seen my fat[G]her plumb
[G]Oh I’d seen him plumb drunk and [F#]I’d seen him plumb mad, [Em]and when the Wildcats lost he’d get plum[C]b sad
[A7]But when it comes to the[D] flow of water, we’re bo[G]th kind of dumb

[G]But that didn’t [F#]stop me no sir-ee, so I [Em]shut off the water right after I pee[C]d,
[A7]And set out to put t[D]hat Whirlpool in its pla[G]ce
[G]I took it out of the[F#] box and I concluded, th[Em]at none of the necessary parts were incl[C]uded,
[A7]So I’d have to regroup i[D]f I wanted to finish thi[G]s race

[CHORUS]
[C]I’m under water a[G]nd I’m o[F#]ver my h[Em]ead
[A7]I tried to get my feet wet but I’m getti[D]ng hosed instead
[C]It’s enough to make a gr[G]own man [F#]say "oh [Em]my gosh”
[A7]But it’s alright, it’ll all come[D] out in [G]the wash

[G]I went back to the b[F#]ig box hardware store, a[Em]nd as soon as I walked through the do[C]or,
[A7]They must’ve noticed the[D] look of confusion on my[G] face
[G]I was met by a friend[F#]ly gal named Marie, who[Em] said she’d love to be of assistance to [C]me,
[A7]So I said where can I fi[D]nd the plumbing supplies[G] in this place?
[G]She took me back to t[F#]he aisle I neede[Em]d, and walked away as I proce[C]eded,
[A7]To stare in awe at all t[D]he trinkets on the shelf[G]
[G]There were valves and pipes [F#]and connectors and such,[Em] and to me it seemed like a little bit m[C]uch,
[A7]So I stood there trying [D]to figure out what to do[G] with myself

[G]I grabbed what [F#]I thought I could use, b[Em]ut when I got back home I was more confu[C]sed,
[A7]Because none of the thin[D]gs I’d bought were right[G] for the job
[G]So I got in the [F#]car and drove once more,[Em] again to that big box hardware sto[C]re,
[A7]Intent on prov[D]ing to them I wasn’t a [G]slob

[CHORUS]
[C]I’m under water [G]and I’m [F#]over my [Em]head
[A7]I tried to get my feet wet but I’m getti[D]ng hosed instead
[C]It’s enough to make a gr[G]own man [F#]say "oh [Em]my gosh”
[A7]But it’s alright, it’ll all come[D] out in [G]the wash

[G]This time I w[F#]as met in the aisle, by [Em]a lady named Charlotte with a lovely smi[C]le,
[A7]And she knew wh[D]at I needed to complete [G]my task
[G]She grabbed a fli[F#]bberty-jibbet and a thin[Em]gamajig, a whozit, a whatzit, and some w[C]hirlygigs,
[A7]Threw ‘em in my buggy an[D]d said I was ready at la[G]st
[G]So I got back ho[F#]me for the umpteenth tim[Em]e, in a much better frame of [C]mind,
[A7]And I crawled up under t[D]he sink to get to w[G]ork
[G]The flibberty-j[F#]ibbet snapped right in p[Em]lace, and the thingamajig was a piece of[C] cake,
[A7]And I was slowly startin[D]g to feel like less of a[G] jerk
[G]After all the part[F#]s were lined out, I took[Em] a deep breath because I had no dou[C]bt,
[A7]The rest of this install[D]ation would be a cin[G]ch
[G]When I shoved the dishwasher int[F#]o place, I’d[Em] like to have seen the look on m[C]y face,
[A7]The dadblamed thing was [D]too tall by half an inch[G]

[CHORUS]
[C]I’m under water an[G]d I’m ov[F#]er my he[Em]ad
[A7]I tried to get my feet wet but I’m getti[D]ng hosed instead
[C]It’s enough to make a gr[G]own man [F#]say "oh [Em]my gosh”
[A7]But it’s alright, it’ll all come[D] out in [G]the wash

[G]To make a long story[F#] kind of short, I don’t [Em]need a dishwasher no mo[C]re,
[A7]I solved that problem th[D]e best way I know ho[G]w
[G]I moseyed on back [F#]to the big box mart, thr[Em]ew a couple of gas cans in my [C]cart,
[A7]Headed back home and bur[D]ned my house to the grou[G]nd

[G]But now I’ve go[F#]t me a good dishwasher, [Em]and sometimes I sit back and wat[C]ch ‘er,
[A7]Do her thing[D] and make it look so ser[G]ene
[G]See I’m living with Charlotte, I[F#] made her my wife, and I[Em] won’t wash a dish for the rest of my li[C]fe
[A7]So I guess you could s[D]ay I came out cl[G]ean